Have you ever seen how your children, especially teenagers
behave with other adults, such as a teacher or friend's mom? Does she
hang on to that person's every word but ignore you what you say? Does
she then compare you to them? Do you ever wonder why that is?
Dr. Phil says, if we don't have a connection with our child then we have to reconnect. Sounds easier than what it is, right? Just how do you do that without seeming like a loser parent? I'm going to give you some tips that I found works through researching on the internet and talking to parents. Also, these tips worked with my own children.
Some children find it easier to confide in adults that aren't their parents for a number of reasons. They're afraid of what you'll think or say, they're afraid of disappointing you, and sometimes because we are unapproachable.
Sadly, a lot of us are always connected to work or our other priorities that we seem to neglect the most important things around us, such as our children. The solution to this is an easy one. Just stop.
Make a point to turn off the phones and the computers at a certain time each night right around dinner time, for an hour or so. That doesn't mean to drop everything that you feel is important, but it does mean that when your child comes to you, no matter how old he is, he should have your undivided attention.
Next tip is to start talking to your teenager. I understand that at a certain age, some kids think they know it all and would rather die than talk to us. But, not really. They want us to talk to them and to listen to them. They really do.
However, you just can't go up and start an intense conversation about something you feel important but he or she deems none of your business. Start small with a general, how was your day and work up to a more lengthy conversation. At first you will be met with a snarly comeback, but don't let that stop you. Do it again the next day. And the next day until you get a genuine answer.
Don't try to be her friend, she has enough of those. And don't snoop. That's disrespectful and can be detrimental to your new relationship. If you act as if you are truly interested in knowing what's going on in her life, she will start confiding in you.
The first time she comes to you with something important, don't fly off the handle or try to fix it unless she asks you to. Just listen. No nagging, no lectures, no judging. This will be the test in how much she can trust you. Will you pass? If yes, awesome. She will come to you again. If no, then start back at the beginning. You'll have to earn her trust all over again.
Be patient and get to know your teenager all over again. It is truly a wonderful relationship that will last well on into adulthood.
Dr. Phil says, if we don't have a connection with our child then we have to reconnect. Sounds easier than what it is, right? Just how do you do that without seeming like a loser parent? I'm going to give you some tips that I found works through researching on the internet and talking to parents. Also, these tips worked with my own children.
Some children find it easier to confide in adults that aren't their parents for a number of reasons. They're afraid of what you'll think or say, they're afraid of disappointing you, and sometimes because we are unapproachable.
Sadly, a lot of us are always connected to work or our other priorities that we seem to neglect the most important things around us, such as our children. The solution to this is an easy one. Just stop.
Make a point to turn off the phones and the computers at a certain time each night right around dinner time, for an hour or so. That doesn't mean to drop everything that you feel is important, but it does mean that when your child comes to you, no matter how old he is, he should have your undivided attention.
Next tip is to start talking to your teenager. I understand that at a certain age, some kids think they know it all and would rather die than talk to us. But, not really. They want us to talk to them and to listen to them. They really do.
However, you just can't go up and start an intense conversation about something you feel important but he or she deems none of your business. Start small with a general, how was your day and work up to a more lengthy conversation. At first you will be met with a snarly comeback, but don't let that stop you. Do it again the next day. And the next day until you get a genuine answer.
Don't try to be her friend, she has enough of those. And don't snoop. That's disrespectful and can be detrimental to your new relationship. If you act as if you are truly interested in knowing what's going on in her life, she will start confiding in you.
The first time she comes to you with something important, don't fly off the handle or try to fix it unless she asks you to. Just listen. No nagging, no lectures, no judging. This will be the test in how much she can trust you. Will you pass? If yes, awesome. She will come to you again. If no, then start back at the beginning. You'll have to earn her trust all over again.
Be patient and get to know your teenager all over again. It is truly a wonderful relationship that will last well on into adulthood.
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