Living With Depression

Depression is such a life stealer. This topic is near and dear to my heart. I’ve suffered with depression since I was a child. I am hoping that some of the tips that I have learned will help others who also suffer with this debilitating disorder.

Keeping busy – I have learned that when I have an active social life and a busy schedule, depression has little chance to sneak in. If I am busy, depression can’t work itself into my schedule.

Having routines – This lies within the same principle of keeping busy. If you know what you are doing each day of the week, each hour of the day, then it is harder for depression to get us bogged down. However, our routines need to be kept short so as not to overwhelm us with their complexity.

Have a support system – Having friends and family who understand depression is a lifesaver in itself. This should be the number one tip, because when we feel understood, we feel valued. However, having family members who enable us is not good. We need encouragement, we need people to bring us out of our isolation, and we need people to bring out the best in us.Try as hard as you can to only have positive people in your life. Negative people will only bring us down, or down further.

Only say positive things – This is a hard one for me because I am always calling myself horrible names that I wouldn’t allow my children to say to themselves or others. Why is it ok for us to call ourselves the most horrid of names? It shouldn’t be allowed because we are not any of those names. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are amazing in all you do. You are of value to me and to your family and friends. Do not allow those negative words to affect you any longer.

Surround yourself with the things you love – Do you like flowers? Keep some fresh cut flowers on your dining table.

Love yourself enough – I love myself enough to get 8 hours of sleep, to eat right, to drink lots of water, and to take the time to make myself presentable to the world. When I look good, I feel good. That is not just a cliché, it is true and to the point. You cannot feel your best if you don’t like what you see in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, do something about it, because you are worthy enough. If money is an issue, read my articles on frugal beauty tips.

Smell the roses – Above, I said to keep busy, but don’t be too busy that you don’t have time to enjoy the little things you love to do like read, shop, garden, knit, etc.

Spend time outdoors – Get outside in the sunshine. Talk a walk, read a book outside, garden, play with the puppy or the kids outside, have a picnic, etc.

Finish each task – Having a large number of unfinished projects is very stressful to people who suffer with depression. Work on one project at a time. It is less stressful and you get a feeling of accomplishment when you have finished something you’ve worked so hard on.

Practice relaxation techniques – I have one word for you - yoga. Yoga helps with a myriad of different disorders, but it especially helps with depression. Meditation is also helpful with relaxing people who suffer with depression. As does listening to soothing music/noises. 

And, lastly – Even though we try to do all the right things, sometimes depression will come to visit and stay a spell like an unwanted visitor. When it does, and if it gets severe, get immediate help. There is no shame in talking to a therapist or taking medication. Depression is a medical condition, not unlike diabetes and should be treated as such. Sometimes, it’ll take awhile to find the right medication or the right combination of medications. Keep trying until you and your doctor get it right. Don’t give up. You are worth it!

Frugal Tip - Sugar For Your Face

In today's society, people are trying to save money any way that they can. With today's tip, you will not only be saving money, but looking good while doing it. I have personally been using this tip for months, and I can say that I am pleasantly surprised with the results.

There are so many facial scrubs out on the market that it's enough to make a person dizzy just trying to decide which one to try. I'm going to make it simple, do not buy any of them. Instead go to your supermarket and buy a bag or box of sugar and a lemon.

Yes, I said sugar. After you've bought your sugar, put some in a cute little container to keep by your sink. Splash some water on your face to wet it, take a teaspoon or so in the palm of your hand, and scrub the dirt, makeup, and oil off of your skin. For an extra boost, squeeze that lemon to get its juice and use that juice as an astringent. Pat dry with a soft washcloth and then use your favorite moisturizer to lightly moisturize your face. A little moisturizer goes a long way now because your skin will be unbelievably soft.

Sugar works well on the dark spots on your skin because it produces glycolic acids, one of the natural alpha hydroxy acids that exfoliates the skin. Commercial after commercial touts how their products have alpha hydroxy acids in them and is proven to help reduce the signs of aging. But, what they don't say is how much that product costs and how you can easily retain it from your sugar bowl.

How much does a really good facial scrub with pore minimizer, dark spot lightener, wrinkle reducer cost compared to a bag of sugar? The lemon juice also works well to lighten any dark spots. But, be sure not to get any in your eyes as it burns a little. And try not to get any in your mouth unless you like the taste of sour lemon juice.

To be honest, you probably won't get the same results right away as you would with one trip to the dermatologist. I don't know though, I've never been to the dermatologist for a facial peel. It sounds painful if you ask me. But, I've had a lot of fun with this science experiment. Not only have I made my own facial scrub, I've also made a foot scrub, and all over body scrub with just sugar and hair conditioner. I don't have rough heels and elbows anymore! The best part for me, was when I noticed how young my hands look. Now when I look at my hands, I don't see my grandmother's hands.

Try it. I know you won't be disappointed.

What To Do If Your Teen Won't Talk To You

Have you ever seen how your children, especially teenagers behave with other adults, such as a teacher or friend's mom? Does she hang on to that person's every word but ignore you what you say? Does she then compare you to them? Do you ever wonder why that is?

Dr. Phil says, if we don't have a connection with our child then we have to reconnect. Sounds easier than what it is, right? Just how do you do that without seeming like a loser parent? I'm going to give you some tips that I found works through researching on the internet and talking to parents. Also, these tips worked with my own children.

Some children find it easier to confide in adults that aren't their parents for a number of reasons. They're afraid of what you'll think or say, they're afraid of disappointing you, and sometimes because we are unapproachable.

Sadly, a lot of us are always connected to work or our other priorities that we seem to neglect the most important things around us, such as our children. The solution to this is an easy one. Just stop.
Make a point to turn off the phones and the computers at a certain time each night right around dinner time, for an hour or so. That doesn't mean to drop everything that you feel is important, but it does mean that when your child comes to you, no matter how old he is, he should have your undivided attention.

Next tip is to start talking to your teenager. I understand that at a certain age, some kids think they know it all and would rather die than talk to us. But, not really. They want us to talk to them and to listen to them. They really do.

However, you just can't go up and start an intense conversation about something you feel important but he or she deems none of your business. Start small with a general, how was your day and work up to a more lengthy conversation. At first you will be met with a snarly comeback, but don't let that stop you. Do it again the next day. And the next day until you get a genuine answer.

Don't try to be her friend, she has enough of those. And don't snoop. That's disrespectful and can be detrimental to your new relationship. If you act as if you are truly interested in knowing what's going on in her life, she will start confiding in you.

The first time she comes to you with something important, don't fly off the handle or try to fix it unless she asks you to. Just listen. No nagging, no lectures, no judging. This will be the test in how much she can trust you. Will you pass? If yes, awesome. She will come to you again. If no, then start back at the beginning. You'll have to earn her trust all over again.

Be patient and get to know your teenager all over again. It is truly a wonderful relationship that will last well on into adulthood.

Autism Has Been Cured

Or so the American Psychiatric Association says. The APA has a new diagnostic definition of Autism which will make the one in 110 epidemic go away. What will really happen is that the children with a higher functioning autism spectrum disorder will cease to get the help they need.

Statistics prove that early diagnosis and early intervention is key. Without the diagnosis of PDD-NOS, PDD, Aspergers, and High Functioning Autism, that help will be nonexistent for a lot of families already struggling to make ends meet. Very few insurances pay for the therapies these kids need in order to be functioning adults in society. The estimated costs for some of these therapies can be from $39,000 to $130,000. In Pennsylvania, some programs can be paid by the state with medical assistance. But, to qualify for the medical assistance, the child needs to be declared as disabled. This new definition will have these kids falling through the cracks.

Regardless of a diagnosis, children with autism-like symptoms need help.

On the other side of this debate, the new definition will weed out the children with autism-like behaviors brought on by abuse, neglect, and attention. Schools will not be allowed to make on the run diagnosis in hopes of more funding. There will be a stricter criteria that must be met for a true diagnosis.

Personally, as a mom with a teenager that has a diagnosis of PDD-NOS, this new criteria scares me. My son has had  a lot of behaviors that he has outgrown, but there's still a few that he still struggles with on a day to day basis. Without the special programs in the area, he wouldn’t be doing as well as he is. But, the new diagnostic definition is a needed change because I, as a parent with a special needs child, see teachers and other adults make unprofessional opinions on children based solely on the child’s behavior. Which is unfair to that child who has now been labeled by someone who is suppose to be advocating for all children.

My hopes for this new development is that there will now be more money spent on therapies for the children and adults that truly need it.  

Added info - Recently, while researching for another article, I read that autism is now being diagnosed at a rate of 1 in 88 children. It is truly an epidemic and we need to demand some answers as to why our children are being plagued with this disorder and what they (APA, CDC, etc) plan on doing about it. 

The Many Uses of Lemon Juice

Let’s learn about the many uses and benefits of lemon juice. There are so many uses for lemon juice, that we will be here all day listing them. And, since I’m sure you’ll be bored by the first 10 or so, we’ll just touch on the most surprising and helpful tips. The number one most popular use is, of course the yummy lemonade drink on a warm summer day. Not the most helpful or surprising, but certainly the most yummiest.

As I’ve already written in my other frugal tip article, lemon juice is great on the skin. When the natural oils on our skin blocks pores, acne forms. The ph level and the level of acid in lemon juice makes it a great mild antibacterial cleanser for acne prone skin. For blackheads, it is recommended to rub the juice of a fresh lemon with a cotton ball or your fingers at bedtime on a stubborn pimple and rinse well in the morning. It is also an efficient and cost effective way to remove dead skin cells to brighten up an oily complexion. It’s also been known to diminish the appearance of acne scars and age spots.

I use lemon juice on my hair when it gets dull or too greasy from over conditioning, I pour some lemon juice from a cup on my hair after shampooing. It brightens it up and adds a little bounce to it.

Did you know, lemon juice is an effective antibacterial for cleaning wood cutting boards? Or, how about the way it shines wood furniture with a touch of olive oil? And, it’s aromatherapy uses to mood enhancement? I already use it for polishing my furniture, but may have to get some cute little decorative dishes to pour some lemon juice in for lifting my mood.

When I don’t have a scrub sponge for cleaning off burned food, I take a half of a lemon, dip it in some sugar and scrub away. This tip I use quite frequently since I often burn food. As my husband says, “You can’t cook from the living room.” I get a bit distracted at times.

Don’t throw away those rinds, either. I like to cut them into quarters and shove them down my garbage disposal to deodorize it. And, sometimes I put some rind in with my homemade potpourri.

Obviously, lemon juice is lemon juice. But the bottled kind has been sitting on a store shelf a lot longer than a fresh lemon and has lost a lot of nutrients. Whenever possible, use fresh lemon juice.
One tip that I found while researching for this article was to rub a freshly cut lemon on fingertips to whiten them. I am excited to try this tip. But first, I must go to the store; I am out of lemons.

How New Parents Can Save Money

New parents or parents to be can save some money by registering at a store for that store’s baby register. That way the people that are shopping for the new parents can get what they need and want, and not what friends and relatives think they should have. Having many receiving blankets and spit up rags is nice but, a whole nursery full is not necessary.

Unfortunately, being frugal is a part of life sometimes. But, if careful, new parents can find the things they need at decent prices. New babies can get by with few necessities. They do not need designer shoes and dressy outfits. They’re just going to spit up on them or have a blow-out in the bum region. Not to mention, babies grow very fast and that precious outfit that your cousin’s cousin bought won’t fit next week.

Babies like to be in small spaces, and having a bassinet or cradle is nice, but not needed. There are wonderful new blankets out in the market that swaddle babies to make them feel more secure. A few of those blankets will be more appreciated than a place for a new baby to sleep for only a few months.

Other ways new parents can save money is to shop second hand. I know, the gross factor is high just thinking of using second hand things for your precious bundle. But, there are parents out there that did buy the best and most expensive nursery accessories just to realize that baby outgrew them before they even got a chance to use them. So, not everything that is second hand has been actually used. But, if you are still leery, get whatever you decide to buy, such as a crib mattress professionally cleaned.

When it comes to the most important purchases, such as the carseat and crib, buy ones that will grow with your baby. Do not buy used carseats. You don’t know if they’ve been in an accident or not and it is advised not to use one after it has been involved in an accident.

There are cribs that go from toddler beds to twin sized beds which eliminates the need to purchase beds as your child grows. so keep that in mind when you’re shopping for a crib. I wouldn’t recommend buying a used crib or an heirloom crib that has been passed down from generation to generation. There might be recalls or safety issues with that crib and it’s not worth the risk.

While baby is still cooking, think about the way you will feed him or her. Breastfeeding is virtually free. Whereas formula costs quite a bit of money. Breastfeeding isn’t for everybody, though.

Diapering will be a huge expensive, no matter what you decide. Cloth diapering will have astronomical start up costs, but once the diapers are bought, that’s usually it. Disposables cost money every week. If your baby doesn’t start potty training until he is three, you may be spending over $1200 on diapers alone.

One last piece of advice; enjoy that baby. Relish each milestone. They grow so fast.

Homemade Face Mask Recipe With Honey

Along with my sugar exfoliating scrub and my lemon juice astringent, I also use a honey, olive oil, and egg yolk face mask once a week. This mask is for dry skin, but honey is an excellent face mask ingredient for any skin type. Honey has anti oxidant properties which helps in reducing the damage caused by the harmful sun's rays. A good tip when choosing honey for your face mask, the darker the honey, the more anti oxidants that's in it.

When I put this face mask on, I use it cold. However, while researching for this article, I read that honey is better when warmed up. I will have to start warming up the honey before I mix it with the other ingredients. Cold will close the pores and we want them open to clean out the gunk that is in those huge pores. When you rinse off the mask, use warm water, but then splash your face with cool water to quickly close up those pores, pat your face dry, and then lightly moisturize your face to lock in the moisture.

There are so many recipes on the internet for honey masks. Keep trying until you have one that works for you. I love the recipe I use because it makes my face so soft and glowing.

The 10 Most Important Things Your Child Care Provider Wants You To Know

I was a child care provider for many years, and while we never got the recognition that we should have received, most of us were alright with that. However, there were some providers that felt stifled when it came to being praised to the heavens. Nonetheless, this article will help parents to understand their child care provider in a better way.

1. It may seem like you are paying an arm and a leg for child care, but in reality, your provider is working for pennies an hour. Let’s say that you pay $150 a week for your baby to attend child care for ten hours a day. In the state of Pennsylvania, a provider can only have two infants at one time. So, let’s presume that your provider has 2 infants and 2 toddlers/preschoolers for 10 hours a day and she’d charge $160 for the toddlers. For a 50-hour work week, she would be making $620 before taxes. It is recommended for anyone who works for themselves, to put away 30% of their income for taxes. So, right away, that means that $186 goes away for taxes. That leaves the provider with $434 for food, educational equipment, trainings, insurances, utilities, housing, gas for the vehicle for outings, not to mention, whatever is needed for her family. Chances are, she is working because a second income is needed. For one month, she will have brought in $1736 for working 200 hours a month which equals to $8.68 which is less than the average McDonald’s worker makes. That doesn’t even count the hours that the provider uses to clean, shop, and do paperwork.

2. She is a professional, and thus should be treated as one. I’ve had parents talk down to me solely for the fact that I didn’t dress in a suit and go into an office for my job. Taking care of your children is a highly important job. Don’t disrespect the provider just because she may be sporting a ponytail and yoga pants. (Although a respectable provider will be dressed and ready for her chargers; she should not still be in pajamas.)

3. A provider regards communication as an important tool between parents and herself. Whether that communication comes in the form of a meeting, a newsletter, or an email.

4. Providers are not substitute parents. They are not trying to take your place or make you feel inferior. Providers take their jobs very seriously, and we make your child feel loved and secure so that they have an enjoyable time at our facility.

5. Since this is a home-based facility, there will be some activities that the provider will need to attend to during the day. You may find your provider doing laundry during naptime, which sometimes is a necessary task for the provider to do during the day. Possibly, you may find her vacuuming as well. Glitter is not a fun item to get out of the carpet once it has been tramped on all day. What is not appropriate for your provider to be doing is: being on the phone all day, watching television, or napping.

6. Know that your provider has taken care of a lot of children in her career, which gives her a little knowledge in the subject. Even though you know your own child, give the provider some credit for knowing how to potty train a child and listen to her advice. I’m not saying that you have to take her advice, just listen to it. She may have some good tips.

7. One thing that some parents have in their minds is that we work for them. That is not true. We are our own bosses. This is our business, albeit home-based it is still a business. We pay taxes, insurance, have overhead expenses, etc.

8. Please, please keep us out of your marital affairs. We are not marriage counselors and have no business knowing what goes on in your bedroom. However, we should know if something serious is going on that could cause your child to act out.

9. We already touched on communication above, however it needs to be mentioned again. If you feel as if there is something wrong or you feel that something needs to be changed, talk to your provider. Also, keep in mind the laws regarding child care providers. It will help to learn them yourself so that if you do think there is something amiss, you will know for sure if it is against regulations. Sometimes, a silly regulation will keep us from doing certain things that parents may find helpful to themselves. For instance, in the state of PA, to take child care children on field trips, there must be one other adult in the vehicle. Regulations state that the provider cannot fully be responsible for the children if she is driving the vehicle. Seems silly until a provider has 6 children in a vehicle and realizes that one of them has unbuckled their carseat and is now roaming the vehicle, making the provider pull over to buckle him back in. Since this can happen a couple of times, it will make an outing a stressful time for the provider.

10. One last important issue – the provider and parents are a team. No one should be trying to outdo the other or make him or her feel inferior in any way. A respectful provider should not make the parent feel that they are doing a poor job of parenting. If she is, it is time to find a new provider.
It is my hope that these tips have helped you, as the parent, in having a successful relationship with your provider. She will be an essential person in your child’s life. It is imperative that you and she get along. However, it is even more important that she and your child get along.

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I will be posting my articles here, from now on. Wordpress was just too hard for me.

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